i want the simple old days back..
it hurts me..

If walking 3 minutes is a trouble to see me for 10minutes more
I don't know what's lesser to be worth it.
Because,
I could just walk ten thousand miles just to see you, even for a minute.

Oyasuminasai

I missed home.

I missed my dog, Bobby. He's my birthday present. I loved him, I dote on him, even though he bites me most of the time, because I disturb him when he sleeps. Regardless of that, I still loved him. I missed him. He goes missing, never to be found. I am partially to be blamed, for not taking care of him properly, allowing my cousin to bring him out and lost him. I'm sorry. I'm really.. really irresponsible.

From a house, full with warmth, mom, dad, me, pet dog. Reducing to relative house, and due to stupid secondary school life, I neglected him. I neglected the pet dog that I loved.. I really missed him a lot..

From a smaller house, reducing to a room. Me alone, with nothing. Mom, dad, no, there are not here. God, why is life so unfair. People can have a good family, with parents living under one roof, they can have what they want. Me? Nothing, living under a different roof, for nearly 8 years. No I cannot have what I want. I can only hope, and wished, until it came true when I really work hard and go for it. The family's not rich, unlike others.

Since young, life have been harsh. From a strict control, to no control. From a family, to no family. From a house, to no house. From a pet, to no pet. It's like, losing things, forgetting things, slowly and slowly, from time to time. Time passes too fast, things, goes away too fast, before you even realise.

I wanna go home. I'm just too far, from where you are, I wanna come home..

Relationship with people, it has not been that good. I'm not a person who bothers to be bother about everything, but not a person who do not bothers about everything. I just, don't want to think of it. Friends come and go, I do not have a single "friend" that can really be mentioned. It's always hey, bye.

I know, nobody cares. I don't too. Life, is unfair to me, already been so many years. I'm too used to it being unfair.

Birthday........................
Nope, it's not important. Just, how I wish this day does not exist, so I am not in this world suffering.
It's living in misery, ain't luxury.

Deep down, I'm a person with superb complex and complicated thoughts, where no one could guess and even access the simplest level out of it. I think a lot, about everything. May it be good or bad, or even thinking about things that has already happen, or things that practically will not exist in this world. It's not that I'm not willing to share, to talk about it, but verbalising it, is more difficult. Saying is easy, but doing, is the toughest.

Why work so hard? Life is so fragile, that it can be gone anytime.
Humans, are all blinded with money. What if, 1 day everything got reduced back to primate period. No money, would you people still willing to study? To work? For a good cause? Nope. Everyone is working, their bloody ass out for money. Nothing else matter, with money, they think they can make everything happen.

Life is always harsh on me, I've almost given up hope. I know I have a good girlfriend, I cherish her, a lot, a lot more than anyone, anything else in this world. Life, just trashed out everything bad on me.

I don't know, life sucks. Sometimes I thought how it would be amazing, to see the wonder of the world, I would just want to travel, I don't want to work. Working is tiring. No I don't want to be. Life makes me tired. I'm too tired to work hard. I just want to be a stupid fool who pretends to not know the unfairness in this world.

All in all, I'm still sitting down here, complaining how tough and stupid life is. I know.
Don't even bother saying " get up on your feet ! "
This is bullshit. I've seen a lot of things, things practically failed.

Sometimes.. I would just need more of consoling..

Not just you trying to get angry with me, when I am already angry..

When I'm hurt, you cut it in more deeply..

When can you understand, the real understanding..

I'm hurt now, but I bet you don't know, cause you're quarreling and showing attitude to me, instead of asking and continuing to coax me. I have feelings too..
I have it too..

Sometimes I just need some words of console, instead words of retort.
Understand me more will you?

Life is freaking unfair.

Lord, just give me a death sentence.

I have enough of all these shits.

today is new year's eve ~
wish everyone a early happy new year (:

Lazy to update blog.. too lazy

I'm having a chingay performance on 31st Jan @ PA.

I woke up in the middle of the night and I notice my girl wasn't by my side ~
- adapted from Akon - Mr Lonely.mp3

No I ain't lonely you shit. Lol. Don't think so much about the song name HA.

I woke up and I can't get to sleep ! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
It's omg, godblessme, hey, give me a good sleep =]
I'm suffering from chronic insomnia @ final stage, which causes hallucination, illusion while trying to keep my eyes close.
I see ghost !
dots like real.

If only darling is beside me, HUG her, KISS her, that'll be a gooooooooooooood sleep.
I need that ;D

Woo, my....... *cough* blog is collec *cough* ting dust !
.......................... Err......
Time to ........ clean it ... up I guess .... *cough*

Let's have some update !

18 / 12 / 2008
Had a pre-birthday celebration for my darling with her family of friends (:
We met up at bugis with everyone. The list is long so I shall just mention the numbers !

9 people for the steamboat @ bugis !
10 people later on for the after-dinner activities :]
Some went for LAN games, some went for arcade and some went for pool.
&&
6 people are the only survivors at night for the pub drinking session !
We drank 1 chivas only :] That's quite little.
The location is @ Fashion Bar. Quite nice ambience :]
After the drinking session, when the pub is closing @ 2am, we went out for french fries :] Just outside the pub itself where there is a pushcart selling it. Sat down there and chatted til 4.30am until it closes and went to MacDonalds @ Raffles till 6.30am, went home, and SLEEP :]

20 / 12 / 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wife (:
She's finally 18 years old :]
??????????????????? Don't think too much :D ????????
Anyway, met up with her at Yishun and went to Plaza Singapura, sent her bracelet for altering, went to buy donuts! Lovely donuts, suddenly have cravings for them LOL.
We went to The Cathay for movie, Ip Man.
It was a nice show, for people who have not watch this show, it's a definitely- must- watch- show !
Trust me, you won't regret it !
It's read as Eep-Mun not I-P-MAN :]
Anyway it's a simple celebration

24 / 12 / 2008
Christmas eve! We celebrated by having a 2-person steamboat !
Met up darling for a shopping for the food @ cold storage.
Then we had the steamboat, have some leftover foods cuz we bought too much I guess.
It's raining whole day long and it's making everyone tired and sleepy for the evening hah!

25 / 12 / 2008
Met up with the family of friends again. We went for basketball session
?! ?
Christmas day play basketball ? :D unique huh.
Anyway we went for dinner @ a hawker centre lol. Very simple celebration.
After which we went to Jeffrey house and play overnight.

31 / 12 / 2008
A day that is ending so soon to reaching the next year.
We went to AMK to Suki Sushi and we had tp split tables cuz it's kinda packed and full house constantly. It's splitted up to 4 and 5 person group. Surprising 4 person ate more than 5 person! hahaha. The bill is horrendous !
After that we went for to AMK Hub, actually wanting a movie session, but in the end there is no good show to watch, so we went to the arcade and play instead.
At around 10pm++, we decide to head to Jeffrey's house again and before that, we bought 2 bottles for wine and some titbits.
Countdown ! 5 4 3 2 1 ? !
Happy 2009 ! Stay overnight and darling went to my house to sleep in the morning (: that's a great start for a new year ;D

1 / 1 / 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR . BYE.
! lol attitude. But nothing much to blog.

5 / 1 / 2009
Holy crap, SCHOOL STARTED.
What a fucked up day with PRIYANKA.
Bloody boring facilitator. I didn't talk for the day.
It's crappy. Fucked.

6 / 1 / 2009
Applied Chemistry, as relax as ever.
I only knew that I to darling's house, try to force myself awake and in the end, i reach home at 11, i fell asleep immediately after lying down on my bed.

7 / 1 / 2009
Today la deh. Haven finish, cannot update !
but my Applied Chemistry UT3 grade like fuck.
E !
WTFish, this is the first test that I got E ! the usual grade do not have this freaking alphabet ! Since when did Epsilon come into my life ?! Shit. lol

Anyway the grading sucks too
1 / 30 - F grade
2 / 30 - E grade (that's what I get)
3 / 30 - D grade
4 / 30 - D+ grade
5 / 30 - C grade
6 / 30 - C+ grade
for B - A, i'm not sure of the mark. but how bad can this go?
sucks.
hahahahahahha.

Sometimes.. It takes more than talent.. It's "effort"
Sometimes.. It takes more than courage.. It's "reality"

In life, we cannot choose what suppose to happen
We can change it, if we try hard enough.

But sometimes, it takes more than courage to face these..
Reality is harsh.

People who don't love going home, start loving it.
Before you lose it.